R v Deer
[2014] NSWDC 24
•24 January 2014
District Court
New South Wales
Medium Neutral Citation: R v Deer [2014] NSWDC 24 Decision date: 24 January 2014 Before: Cogswell SC DCJ Decision: Partially accumulated aggregate sentence of 8 years and 3 months. Non-parole period of 5 years and 4 months.
Catchwords: CRIMINAL LAW - Particular offences - offences against the person - sexual intercourse with a child aged between 10 and 16 - man engaged in full sexual relations with teenage niece several times over a year. Sentence - relevant factors - gravity of offence - objectively very serious - not absolutely worst category - offence committed in victim's home - aggravating under s 21A - substantial emotional harm caused to victim - aggravating under s 21A - vulnerability due to young age - not specifically aggravating under s 21A - age an element of the offence - response to charges - guilty plea - lack of remorse - offender's disregard for victim's well being - nature and circumstance of offender - prior criminality - dysfunctional childhood - limited education and employment - drug, alcohol and mental health issues - low risk of re-offending - special circumstances - need for counselling and assistance in the community. Sentence procedure - relevant material - victim impact statement read in court - courageous and articulate. Legislation Cited: Crimes Act 1900 (NSW), s 66C(2).
Crimes (Sentencing Procedure) Act 1999 (NSW), ss 21A(2)(g), 53A.Cases Cited: King v R [2010] NSWCCA 33.
R v Youkhana [2004] NSWCCA 412.Category: Sentence Parties: Regina (Crown)
Graeme Deer (Offender)Representation: Counsel:
P Winch (Offender)
Solicitor:
Office of the Director of Public Prosecutions (NSW) (Crown)
File Number(s): DC 2013/00006594 Publication restriction: * Pseudonyms have been used in this judgment. Pursuant to s 578A Crimes Act 1900 there is to be no publication of the victim's name or anything that may lead to identification of the victim. Identifying information has been removed from this version of the judgment to comply with the statute and, in some cases, replaced with pseudonyms (which are colours).
REMARKS ON SENTENCE
I am sentencing a man who as an adult in his twenties persistently engaged in full sexual relations with his teenage niece. She was in her early to mid-teens. The conduct went on for a period of over a year and at one stage the victim became pregnant and terminated the pregnancy. The offending behaviour brought about substantial emotional harm to the victim.
I am sentencing the offender for four offences, although the sexual engagement occurred many more times. The reference to the extended number of times is to put the four offences into context. It is important to appreciate that I am sentencing the offender for only four offences.
The offender's name is Graeme Deer. He has just turned 41. The victim of his crimes is Willow White. She is nine years younger than Mr Deer. Mr Deer is her mother's brother.
The details of the offences are set out in what is called the agreed facts. This is part of exhibit A. I take this brief description from those agreed facts.
Willow White was 11 when she was living in [place] with her mother and two of her five sisters. She spent a lot of time with her maternal uncle, Graeme Deer, and developed a crush on him. Sometime in 1996, after 2 April when Willow White was 14 and Mr Deer was 23, Willow White was left in his care at [place]. Her mother was in [place]. They were in the bedroom on the floor. Mr Deer engaged in sexual intercourse with Willow White.
Because the definition of sexual intercourse legally is wide I need to explain that on each of the occasions that I refer to it, it is in the usual understanding of sexual intercourse, namely, the insertion of Mr Deer's penis into his victim's vagina.
On this occasion that I am talking about Mr Deer continued until he ejaculated. He did not use a condom. When he left the room Willow White went into the bathroom and noticed that she was bleeding, she was in pain. She was a virgin before that occasion.
The facts record that from that time onwards that Graeme Deer "continued to have unprotected sexual intercourse with the complainant on a regular basis". Again, I emphasise that that is for the purposes of putting his offending behaviour into context. It points out that these offences were not isolated incidents; they were part of a pattern of behaviour. I am sentencing Mr Deer, however, I repeat, for only four offences.
The behaviour I have just described occurred between 2 April and 31 December 1996 at [place] and that constitutes the first offence.
All of the charges are offences under s 66C(2) of the Crimes Act 1900 (NSW). The offence is called sexual intercourse with a child aged between 10 and 16 years under authority. Each of the four offences that I am sentencing Mr Deer for carries a maximum of 10 years imprisonment.
Mr Deer has pleaded guilty to each of the offences and he has pleaded guilty at the earliest available opportunity. I say that because the law provides that if a person pleads guilty at the earliest available opportunity the sentencing court should discount the sentence which the court would otherwise impose by 25%. In due course I will do that.
I turn to the second offence which occurred on [date] January 1997. Willow White remembers that because it was Mr Deer's birthday. She was 14. She was on a lounge at home in [place]. Again Mr Deer had full unprotected sex with her until he ejaculated. In July of that year Willow White had turned 15 and she moved in with her sister and her sister's boyfriend and Mr Deer. He was then about 24. The place they moved into was at [place].
The third offence which I am sentencing Mr Deer for occurred sometime between 28 July 1997 and 6 August 1997. Willow White was then 15. She was in her uncle's bedroom on his bed. Again Mr Deer engaged in full sexual intercourse with her until he ejaculated. The same thing occurred sometime between 28 August 1997 and 6 September 1997 at [place]. Willow White was still 15 years old.
They are the four offences that Mr Deer has pleaded guilty to and I formally convict him of those four crimes.
Sometime during August 1997 Willow White suspected she was pregnant and her suspicion proved to be correct. She told Mr Deer. He was not happy. He wanted her to lose the baby and suggested a number of ways to bring about a miscarriage. He told her to jump out of a tree in the backyard and to land on her bottom. She climbed the tree, but could not let go. She was resisting, but he insisted. She fell to the ground and landed on her bottom and winded herself. That apparently did not have the effect which Mr Deer wanted, namely, to cause a miscarriage of the pregnancy. So on 6 September 1997 Willow White went to a doctor's surgery. She was told she was about 18 weeks pregnant. She went to [place] Hospital on 23 September where the pregnancy was terminated.
The agreed facts record that Willow White "had felt constantly pressured by the accused to discontinue the pregnancy and she believed that this was what he wanted." She did not disclose the identity of the father to any authorities "as she wanted to protect the accused. She knew he would get into trouble if anyone found out."
Mr Deer continued to engage in sexual intercourse with Willow White until the end of 1997.
At some stage, some years later, Willow White went to the police. Evidence was gathered against Mr Deer by way of a listening device. During the recording of conversations between him and Willow White he acknowledged what he had done and was arrested and charged on 8 January 2013. He spent that night in custody.
Mr Deer has been in custody on other matters since 6 July 2013 and it is agreed between the legal representatives of the prosecution and the defence that the sentence can date from then. In fact I will date the sentence from the day before, 5 July 2013, to take into account the day he spent in custody when he was arrested.
Mr Deer does have a criminal record. It is not a serious one. He has a series of summary drug offences in 1998 and again in 2011 and there is a traffic offence recorded in 2012.
This is a case where the victim of the crime, Willow White, provided a victim impact statement.
HIS HONOUR: I should add at this point in my remarks that the identity of the victim of a sexual assault is protected in New South Wales. That means the name Willow White and any way of linking her to this case as a victim cannot be published outside this courtroom. It is an offence to do it.
Willow White read out her victim impact statement in court before me on 18 December 2013 when Mr Deer's sentencing case came before me in [place]. I recall her reading it out and the note I made at the time is that the victim impact statement was very courageous and articulate.
A copy of the victim impact statement is contained as part of exhibit A. I do not propose to read it out in full. I am going to make reference to a couple of parts of it. In due course, when these remarks on sentence are published, I am going to direct my associate to scan the victim impact statement and to remove any identifying information and to publish it with my remarks on sentence. [It now forms an appendix to these Remarks on Sentence]
Amongst other things Willow White said that the "abuse has affected my relationship with my long term partner of almost 16 years". It is apparently "only recently" that her partner [name] has come to know of the details of what happened. Ms White feels that "the abuse has also affected my relationship with my three daughters." She goes on to say she is overprotective of them and fears for them. She finds it "hard to trust any men around them" even her partner "who I know would never do anything to them. I can't help it." She thinks that "this fear is getting worse because my girls are getting older and approaching the age I was when [Graeme] started assaulting me. I find it hard to show emotion, and find it hard to be close to them and to hug them, even to tell them that I love them. I find it hard to have deep and meaningful conversations with them. I find it hard to be close to them as they get older."
Willow White acknowledged that she "had to keep the full disclosure of the sexual assaults bottled up for a very long time." She describes the "large amount of anger" she had inside of her and how it "can come out in my family and social life. I have lost friendships due to my anger." The anger leaves her feeling depressed, without an appetite, tired and not enjoying life. She said that she has been diagnosed with major depression and post-traumatic stress disorder and has anxiety. In closing Ms White said this -
"In summary, the abuse stole my innocence and my virginity. It has put me through grief, affected my mental health, and affected my family life. The effects are still ongoing. I feel that I will be impacted for the rest of my life by what happened. I still have traumatic dreams that relate to the termination and traumatic dreams with [Graeme] in them. I have always wanted an acknowledgment from [Graeme] as to what he has done to me. But no apology now will make me feel any different or can change what has happened."
I repeat this was a very courageous and articulate victim impact statement.
There was an issue as to whether I could make a finding in this case under s 21A of the Crimes (Sentencing Procedure) Act 1999 (NSW) to the effect that the "injury, emotional harm, loss or damage caused by the offence was substantial". That is provided for in cl (g) of s 21A(2). I do make the finding in this case that the offence caused substantial emotional harm to the victim. I have little hesitation in making that finding based upon the matters in the victim impact statement which I have referred to, indeed, based upon the victim impact statement as a whole. In making that finding I bear in mind what the Court of Criminal Appeal has said in R v Youkhana [2004] NSWCCA 412 at [26] and King v R [2010] NSWCCA 33 at [35] and [36].
There was another issue as to whether I could find that in accordance with s 21A(2)(l) the "victim was vulnerable, for example, because the victim was very young". I do not make that finding, because the age of the victim is an element of the offence in accordance with the concluding paragraph of s 21A(2).
Turning back to Mr Deer's circumstances, I have referred to his criminal record. In addition there is a pre-sentence report about him prepared by Ari Tan, the Unit Leader at [place] Community Corrections Office. Mr Tan concludes his assessment with this paragraph -
"Mr [Deer] is a man who has had a traumatic childhood and as an adult, an intermittently traumatic life. At times he has problems with alcohol and other drugs, dysfunctional relationships and mental health issues. He has admitted to having abused alcohol and other drugs at the time of his offending, but to his credit does not suggest these were factors in his offending. What is of significant concern though is his belief that he was encouraged to offend by the victim and that she is somewhat responsible. Such an attitude while not seemingly apparent in his life, since he offended, does need addressing by way of interventions. These are available within custody or within the community."
I might add there that Mr P Winch of counsel, who appeared for Mr Deer in the sentence proceedings, pointed out that his client's record did not record any other offences of this kind and suggested that his risk of future offending in this regard was low. That submission is supported by a psychologist, from whose report Mr Tan quoted in his pre-sentence report. The psychologist noted that Mr Deer was "in the low risk category for future sexual reoffending." Mr Tan himself, however, assessed Mr Deer "as a medium risk of re-offending." I am inclined, on the balance of probabilities, given the psychologist's report and the criminal record of Mr Deer, to accept Mr Winch's submission in that regard.
Mr Deer's childhood is described in the pre-sentence report and is correctly referred to as dysfunctional. His education and employment have been limited. He has had problems with mental health and alcohol and drugs over the years. The psychologist quoted by Mr Tan said that "Mr [Deer] has shown complete disregard for his victim's psychological and physical well-being over a period of many years." In addition Mr Tan himself expressed "significant concern" that Mr Deer "appeared to shift blame onto the victim by stating she encouraged him and led him on." Mr Tan correctly observed that such statements "suggest a level of denial and certainly an ignorance of the power imbalance that exists between an adult and a child." I accept those observations. They do not aggravate the offence, nor are they factors which weigh against Mr Deer. However, in my opinion, they reduce to negligible any benefit that I would give Mr Deer for remorse, apart from taking into account, to some very small extent, the fact that he pleaded guilty.
The offending behaviour which Mr Deer engaged in with his victim was, in my opinion, objectively very serious. He engaged in full penile/vaginal sexual intercourse. That is a very serious form of sexual intercourse. He did not use any protection thereby exposing his victim to the risk of disease and pregnancy. On one occasion she became pregnant. I need to take into account the impact upon his victim of the fact that she had to terminate that pregnancy.
There is an additional factor specifically under s 21A. These offences occurred in the victim's home. On the other hand, a crime such as this can be committed against a victim who is as young as 10 or 11 years old. Willow White in this case was 14 to 15 years old, closer to the top age for this kind of offending. That is simply to point out that the offending behaviour, although very serious, is not in the absolute worst category.
So far as the aggravating behaviour about the kind of sexual intercourse and the lack of use of a condom is concerned, I accept the submission of Ms K Stanley, who appeared in the sentence proceedings for the Director of Public Prosecutions. Mr Deer - I also here accept what Ms Stanley says - does not derive any benefit from the fact that there was a delay between his offending behaviour and his being charged.
Mr Winch argued that there were special circumstances for adjusting what is the normal relationship between the non-parole period fixed for a sentence and the full period. Normally an offender has to serve 75% of his or her sentence in full-time custody as the non-parole period. In special circumstances that percentage can be reduced. Mr Winch argued that the special circumstances in this case included his client's need for counselling and assistance when he resumes his life in the community. That is consistent with the pre-sentence report. In due course I propose to make a small adjustment to the non-parole period so that it will be less than 75% of the full sentence which I impose on Mr Deer.
I regard, as I said, each of the offences as very serious. Taking into account the seriousness of those offences and little that can be said by way of mitigation either of the offences or of the offender, and also taking into account the maximum fixed by Parliament, I regard an appropriate sentence for each of the offences as 7 years imprisonment. Because Mr Deer has pleaded guilty at the earliest available opportunity to each of the offences, I propose to discount each of the offences by 25% so that for each of the offences he will receive a sentence of 5 years and 3 months.
What I propose to do is to fix one sentence, which I can do. It is called an aggregate sentence and is provided for by s 53A of the Crimes (Sentencing Procedure) Act. However, I need to point out that - in accordance with Ms Stanley's submission and acknowledged by Mr Winch - I will partly accumulate the sentences. In other words, instead of imposing the four sentences of 5 years and 3 months all to be served at the same time, I would have accumulated each of those sentences by 1 year. The effect would have been this. For the first offence I would have fixed a penalty of 5 years and 3 months to commence on 5 July 2013 and to expire on 4 October 2018. For the second offence, the sentence of 5 years and 3 months would have commenced on 5 July 2014 and expired on 4 October 2019. For the third offence, the sentence of 5 years and 3 months would have commenced on 5 July 2015 and expired on 4 October 2020. For the fourth offence, the sentence of 5 years and 3 months would have commenced on 5 July 2016 and expired on 4 October 2021. Overall and by my calculations, that would have resulted in a sentence of 8 years and 3 months, commencing 5 July 2013 and expiring on 4 October 2021.
For a sentence of 8 years and 3 months the non-parole period of 75% would have been a little over 6 years. I propose to reduce that non-parole period, taking into account the special circumstances that I have referred to, to 5 years and 4 months, commencing on 5 July 2013 and expiring on 4 November 2018.
HIS HONOUR: I am going to sentence you now, Mr Deer, if you would stand up please.
Your overall sentence is 8 years and 3 months. It commenced on 5 July 2013 and will expire on 4 October 2021. The non-parole period that you must serve is 5 years and 4 months. It commenced on 5 July 2013 and will expire on 4 November 2018. The first date upon which you will become eligible for parole is 4 November 2018. Whether or not you get parole on that day will depend upon the Parole Authority.
HIS HONOUR: Have a seat, Mr Deer. Mr Wilson, Ms Stanley, if you would please check - the official, the formal sentence, of course, is 8 years and 3 months with a 5 year and 4 months non-parole period. That's the important calculation to check. But I have given you, as the s 53A requires me to do, an indication of what the individual sentences would have been. So it probably would be prudent to check those calculations as well. Take your time.
STANLEY: Both my friend and I agree with those calculations, your Honour.
HIS HONOUR: Now is there anything else I need to attend to? There are no psychiatric or psychological reports that I would send into custody with Mr Deer?
STANLEY: No.
HIS HONOUR: It was only the pre-sentence report.
STANLEY: There's no s 166 certificate or anything.
HIS HONOUR: There is no s 166 certificate?
STANLEY: There is no s 166 certificate or anything of that nature for your Honour to take into account.
HIS HONOUR: No. Thank you. Does that conclude the proceedings, I think?
STANLEY: Yes, your Honour.
Appendix
Victim Impact Statement of [victim]
My name is [victim]. I confirm I have written this Victim Impact Statement myself.
I don't have a lot of memories of [offender] from early childhood, as I never had much contact with him and he was never a big part of my life. He occasionally visited my family and I felt like he was special. I thought he was a trusted family member and he was my favourite uncle. [Mother] was never there for me emotionally. I found that myself and my two sisters, [name] and [name], seemed to attach ourselves to either an uncle, cousin or someone. For me it happened to be [offender] who is 9 years older than me. I looked up to him as someone I could trust, someone I could talk to, someone who would listen to me, someone I could have fun with, and someone who could make all my bad memories go away. Other adults in my life had failed me; especially [mother] who I feel failed me as a mother. I had never felt important to anyone. Growing up I was a quiet and shy girl. I had low self-esteem and no self confidence. I felt lonely, isolated and different to others. I never had the loving and caring home that I deserved. So when I felt [offender] giving me the attention that I wanted so badly, and making me feel loved, special and important, I was drawn in by that and I held onto that. I was oblivious to the danger of what he was doing to me because I was a child. I thought [offender] was different to the other adults in my life because he made me feel special, even before he touched me.
Year 7 at school was great for me. I got top yearly marks in English and French. Then my education began to suffer. My school report shows that in Year 8 my grades started dropping, with 107 absent days for the year. My focus was no longer on school, but instead it all went on [offender] and thinking about what would make him happy. Even when I was at school I couldn't focus on my school work. I found myself starting to do stuff that was out of character, like jumping out my bedroom window at night to go see [offender]. I started lying, wagging school and running away from home. Anything which meant I got to see him. The attention he gave me was more important to me than schooling at that time.
[Offender] seemed to understand me and why I was unhappy at home. I had no one else I could turn to. When I left home I moved in with my cousin for a short time. I was excited as I knew it meant I would spend more time with [offender]. When we all moved to [place] to live together, I thought it was the best thing that could have happened. It meant that I got to spend all my time with him, apart from when I had to go to school. But I didn't attend as much as I should have with a documented 26 days absent for semester 2.
I recall that for several months before I actually fell pregnant, [offender] had spoken to me a number of times about having a baby. I remember him telling me that I had to get a boyfriend first so no one would suspect he would be the father. Not long after my [age] birthday I found out I was pregnant. I felt numb. I was in shock and scared. I never thought I would fall pregnant. At one point I thought it would make [offender] happy, but when I told him he suggested that I try to miscarry the baby and suggested how to do it. I felt terrified, as I knew in my own mind that I didn't have the courage to do what he was asking. But because I knew it was what he wanted and it would make him happy, I agreed. The attempts to miscarry failed.
I ended up going to the Doctor and she organised for me to go to [place] to have a termination. I had to lie about the father's name was because I knew that if I had told the truth [offender] could get in serious trouble, and I believed I would too. The Doctor even talked to me about adoption but I knew it wasn't an option because [offender] had made it clear that he wanted me to have a termination. [offender] made me feel like the pregnancy was my fault and that I had to deal with it all on my own. I had no support and I felt very alone. The night before the procedure (after I had the two tablets inserted which I was told were to kill the baby) the baby was moving a lot, the most I had ever felt it move. I even thought to myself at that moment that even if I wanted to change my mind it was too late. I remember when the doctors and nurses had left the room I burst into tears hugging my tummy. When I woke the next morning there was no movement from the baby. I had it explained to me that once I was put to sleep they would scrape the baby away. I didn't really understand any of it. All I wanted then was to get the termination over and done with. When I woke after it was finished I felt numb and empty. I was 18+ weeks pregnant. I was a young girl, totally alone and very hurt, very angry and with no one to care for me. I shouldn't have had to go through something like a termination at such a young age. After I returned home there seemed to be tension between myself and [offender]. Things had changed and it didn't feel the same anymore. I felt lost.
The affects of the abuse and termination continue, and I still find it very hard to talk about. As an adult, I still get very stressed and really upset when I think about the termination. At the moment I think about it everyday. I think it is a good thing now that I went through with the termination but I have lots of mixed feelings. I can't help but sometimes think that I am a bad person for doing it. I often feel guilty and disgusted, and I have hated myself for having it. Really I only went through with it because of [offender]'s pressure. I am angry at [offender] still for this, and because he made me do it alone and made me think it was all my own fault. I think about the baby girl and think about how old she would be now.
For most of my childhood I would hide my emotions and how I was feeling. I was determined not to show my anger as I kept denying what happened. I was acting like the assaults were not affecting me, when deep down day by day they were damaging me. The abuse became part of how life was. I realise now that I have taken on the guilt, shame and secret for too long. It has affected the important relationships in my life.
The abuse has affected my relationship with my long term partner of almost 16 years, [name]. Upon meeting [name] in [place], I moved in with him within a week because [offender] had kicked me out. I would have been a virgin when I met [name] if [offender] hadn't have assaulted me the way he did. I didn't know what to tell [name] about how I had lost my virginity. I could not to talk to [name] for a long time and it is only recently that he has come to know the details of what happened to me. He finds it hard to deal with. We have found it very hard to talk and communicate. It has put a huge amount of pressure on our relationship. I have been confused about my relationship and my feelings. It affects intimacy. I hate being seen naked by [name] or anyone else. My relationship has suffered because of how I feel. I find it hard to show him affection. I keep stuff to myself and don't talk to him.
I feel the abuse has also affected my relationship with my three daughters. I am overprotective of them. I fear for them. I find it hard to trust any men around them; even [name] (their father) who I know would never do anything to them. I can't help it. I don't even like [name] to go in the bathroom while they are having a bath. I fear for them even going to friends' houses to play. Anything that happens with my daughters, for example if they don't want to sleep at a friend's place, I think the worst and think that something bad could have happened to them like what happened to me. I think this fear is getting worse because my girls are getting older and approaching the age I was when [offender] started assaulting me. I find it hard to show emotion, and find it hard to be close to them and to hug them, even to tell them I love them. I find it hard to have deep and meaningful conversations with them. I find it hard to be close to them as they get older.
As an adult I have withdrawn and become distant from the people close to me. I find it very hard to speak to anyone when I have a problem and I still always bottle things up. I felt I had to keep the full disclosure of the sexual assaults bottled up for a very long time, and this enabled him to get away with doing this to me for so long. I now know that what happened isn't my fault, but I still blame myself. I didn't tell anyone because I was scared and felt ashamed, and I was worried what people would think of me. I thought that I would get the blame just as much as [offender]. I wish that I had had the courage to take the step of reporting the abuse sooner, but without the support from my counsellor I would not have been mentally ready. I still feel a lot of anger, and I hate that I had to carry this awful secret for so long. The assaults are something that I have always thought about and have always been on my mind. I hate [offender] for what he has done to me. What happened has changed me and who I am as a person. I feel it has stopped me from being all that I could be. What has happened to me has in a sense ruined my life.
The large amount of anger I have inside me can come out in my family and my social life. I have lost friendships due to my anger. The anger makes me feel depressed, and leaves me not enjoying life, having no appetite, and feeling tired all the time. I can want to cry over nothing, and get angry at the smallest things. I can go from feeling normal to getting angry with in seconds. It also takes me a long time to get over things and to get out of a cranky mood.
I find it very hard to trust people. I am fearful of men and try to avoid being alone with any male. I have low self esteem. I do not look after myself like I used to. When I first met [name], I tried to move on with my life and I used to enjoy doing girly things like getting my nails done and going shopping, but I no longer enjoy doing these things. I have good days and bad days, and I can struggle to get through the day. But I do it for my girls, they need me. I have even had moments where I wish I could just vanish into thin air.
I have been diagnosed with Major Depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and I have anxiety. I have lost motivation in life. I feel this is all linked to this abuse. Earlier this year I quit my job of four and a half years because of my mental health. I am currently on medication and have regular counselling to help with this. Going to counselling is helping me to understand. I'm learning to know who I am. I'm working on shifting the self blame. I realise that feeling powerless is a feeling that comes with abuse. I now know it is ok for me to break my silence and to remove the protective shield. I now don't have to worry about others knowing and finding out. I was a child and he was the adult. I was needy and he used my neediness for his pleasure. [Offender] took advantage of me, he stole my innocence, and he took away my right to have a normal adolescence. I was introduced to sex on an adult's level, which means I never had the chance to explore naturally. I couldn't enjoy sharing that journey with my peers. They did not share my experiences.
In summary, the abuse stole my innocence and my virginity. It has put me through grief, affected my mental health, and affected my family life. The effects are still ongoing. I feel that I will be impacted for the rest of my life by what happened. I still have traumatic dreams that relate to the termination and traumatic dreams with [offender] in them. I have always wanted an acknowledgement from [offender] as to what he has done to me. But no apology now will make me feel any different or can change what has happened.
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Decision last updated: 01 April 2014